Our Types.

I am an ENFJ. Generally in relationships, I am able to communicate well. I am very
perceptive about the motives that lie behind people’s actions. At times I can be warm and affectionate, and I tend to bring out the best in others. I seek life-long relationships and constantly am looking to fulfill others needs before my own. I am a handful to be with, lively, energetic, and humorous. I am also good with money and tend to look for win-win situations. My weaknesses are that I tend to be controlling and overly manipulative, with a tendency to avoid problems and confrontation. I also can be critical of other peoples opinions that do not agree with my own. And I am sometimes not aware of social appropriateness. When things go wrong, I take the blame, and am often too immersed in giving other people what they want, that I neglect myself.

Jose is an ESFP. Generally in relationships they love to be in love, and try to make the most of every moment. However they are not naturally long term commitment people. With this commitment problem ESFP’s move from relationship to relationship, not forming any real commitments. ESFP’s also tend to be somewhat materialistic and are too caught up in what others think about them. ESFP’s do not handle conflicts or criticism well, often they react suddenly and harshly, often regretting things they said after. ESFP’s are generally warm and giving, they have simple needs and demands from their boyfriend/girlfriend. They seek happiness, and want to make others happy also.

I asked my mom about marriage and what are the best things about it. She didn’t have much to say that was good. She has only been married once and that was to my father, and that marriage ended in a bad divorce that is still being settled. She says that the only good thngs that she experienced during marriage was raising us, having children and nurturing them. At the start of the marriage, she says it was enjoyable being with the person you think you’re in love with and are going to grow old with. It is nice to have the support of a spouse when you come home from a long days work. It’s nice to have the idea that together you area force and are taking on the world as a team.

However when I asked about the most difficult things about marriage, she began to laugh. “Everything,” was her answer. It’s hard to adjust to living with a totally new person, away from your family. It’s weird trying to compromise about where stuff should be, and complaining about dirty habits. It is hard arguing, and trust and commitment is a huge difficult thing. It is difficult giving your life to someone, and trusting them to take care of you and give as much as you are giving them back. It is difficult to give up your selfishness and become selfless.